Cheaters. Affairs. Infidelity. It’s not something people want to happen to them or do to other people, but it still happens. Studies show it happens more to women than men — but why? In most cases, the signs that cheating might happen appear early in the relationship, but many ignore them. Cheaters risk everything to be unfaithful, but what’s so tempting that makes it worth it? When this situation happens, both sides suffer consequences and pain — one more than the other sometimes — but everyone involved gets hurt. If you’ve ever been in these situations, here’s some insight that might help give you answers. And if you don’t want to end up in this position, maybe it’ll help you avoid this painful path.
Most of the time, when cheating occurs, something is missing. It might be something in the relationship, or something within the person themselves. It could be emotional distance, poor communication, or just not feeling the same spark anymore. When someone feels like they’re not getting what they need, they start to look for it in other places. Naturally, breakups happen because of this, but when they don’t, that person might decide to find what’s missing in someone else — leading to betrayal.
But sometimes, cheating happens for no clear reason. Even in happy relationships, people still cheat. A 2023 YouGov survey found that around 20% of Americans admit to cheating on a partner, and among young adults, that number is even higher. An anonymous student shared, “ I think that in the moment it’s very easy to get caught up with someone. Personally, I think it’s easy to be attracted to people, but when you cheat on someone you don’t necessarily need to love them. So cheating on someone you love will hurt, and you will regret it after — but in the moment, because you are attracted to that one person, you forget about love and focus on your desires.”
This shows that sometimes cheating is not about what the other person lacks — it’s about impulse, attraction, and self-control. Social media makes it even worse. A study from Computers in Human Behavior showed that people who use social media more often are more likely to cheat, because they constantly see others they compare to their current partner, and it’s easier than ever to reach out or flirt through messages.
While the cheater may regret it, the person who gets cheated on often goes through even more emotional pain. Another YLHS student shared, “ At first I didn’t want to believe it, and when I processed it later, I felt replaced. Thinking that someone I loved so much could do this to me hurt me a lot. I felt like my world was gone, and I was afraid of losing him and not being able to love someone like him. But when he wanted to come back into my life, I didn’t let him, because I understood that I had to put my dignity first.”
Evidently, both sides suffer when cheating happens, but the emotional damage lasts. Sometimes, it’s unavoidable — but if we understand the signs and reasons, we can protect our hearts and hopefully find someone who would never want to cause that kind of pain.
