On January 18, 2025, TikTok vanished from U.S. app stores following a Supreme Court ruling that upheld a federal ban over national security concerns. That night around 8 pm, I went onto my app and saw nothing would load anymore. Soon a message telling me that TikTok wasn’t accessible popped onto my screen and throughout the rest of the night, I mindlessly tried clicking on the app numerous times. Without thinking, I quickly deleted the app within the next hour and was very content with my decision. I just could not stand opening the app and seeing that everything that had been my life for the past eight years was gone in an instant. My storage on my phone was free and my heart was finally at ease knowing I was done with the app for good. Around noon the next day, I received an overwhelming amount of notifications from my group chat. I looked down to see a message from my friend saying, “It’s already back? That was fast” (Bryson French 12).

I was filled with so much relief. I went to the app store and searched for my favorite app on the search tab to find a message stating the rules of the TikTok ban.

Because I had deleted it, I could not download it back. My eyes instantly welled with tears and I had to look in the mirror and tell myself how embarrassing I was being. Who would cry over an app? It took me a few hours to realize that out of my impatience, I deleted an app I used to spend over five hours on every single day, and all of my friends still have it. Determined to adapt, I turned to Instagram Reels, only to discover that my screen time remained as high as ever. I never realized how much I depended on TikTok until it was no longer an option.
It’s almost embarrassing to admit how quickly I swapped one addiction for another. I was scrolling through endless clips of dances, memes, and life hacks, losing hours without even realizing it. Instagram Reels felt just like TikTok but with a different logo.

I started to wonder why I was so hooked in the first place. Was I really that bored? Or was I just avoiding my thoughts, my responsibilities, or even my emotions? It felt like I was using these videos as an escape, a way to shut off my brain for a while. I am known for procrastinating until the very last minute so I was just avoiding my thoughts. It was uncomfortable to sit with my thoughts instead of numbing them with mindless scrolling. I realized I had been using TikTok (and then Reels) to distract myself from boredom, stress, and even loneliness.
A month later, TikTok popped back up in the app stores. I hesitated. Should I redownload it? Part of me was excited to get back to the videos and creators I had missed, but another part of me knew that I’d just fall back into the same habit.

Even my best friend knows how addicted I was to the app and said “I would’ve been so surprised if you didn’t reinstall it” (Claire Severson 12). I thought about how easily I had replaced TikTok with Reels. Deleting the app hadn’t changed my screen time; it just shifted my attention somewhere else. So I made a deal with myself. I’d reinstall TikTok, but I’d be more intentional this time. I would set a specific screen time for myself and only use it after I was done will all my homework. This way, I could prevent procrastination and still have time to unwind and catch up with my friend’s videos.

Looking back, my month without TikTok was eye-opening. It showed me how easily I fall into patterns of mindless consumption, but it also taught me that quitting cold turkey wasn’t necessarily the answer. The problem wasn’t TikTok itself. It was how I was using it.