Dating Do’s and Don’ts


David De Lossy

A cute date setting with two people dancing into the sunset.

Claire Koltura, Photojournalist

Since one of the most lovey-dovey months is coming around the corner, it’s time to step up the first dates or next dates. Many of us are trying to go on a date, are in a relationship, or need adventure. We are all looking for someone to make us smile and motivate us to live a little. No matter who’s taking you out on a date, there are a couple do’s and don’ts to take on. Here are some from dating experiences.


The “FIRST” date can be the moment when you let them go or realize you would like to go on the “second” date–whether or not you find a keeper on the first date. As some young girls get all dolled up and boys tie up their best looking sneakers, there is always a test of if they chicken-out or arrive at that date.


On the occasion of going on a date, the location is key to how people should dress appropriately. Dinner dates are a time to kick out those little boots or unique sneakers. For the ladies, pick out your well-fitting pair of pants for the cold weather, and for warmer dates, take a suggestion with a trendy, formal skirt. Gentlemen should wear some pants, sneakers, and a basic shirt. Additionally, men should remember that if you are taking someone on an extravagant date, wear a collared shirt. For dates that require movement and athleticism, wear an outfit that allows mobility and comfort. Speaking of comfort, when dressing for a date, make sure not to go overboard. This could possibly inflict some dislike from your dating partner, so make sure to wear appropriate clothing.


Arriving on time is a critical point for the first date; arriving ten minutes or more will ruin your date. Ryan Maccarron (11) says, “as long as we arrive in the right place at the time we both agreed on, then we are chilling.” When on-time, the date goes smoother, and the commitment aspect respectively displays itself on the two attendees. Occasionally, when not driving separately to meet at a date and two individuals want to drive together, the time management here must be right as well. Typically, the man picks up the woman, and the woman should wait five minutes before rushing out. Giving the driver this time also allows him to recollect himself.


When taking a chance on a new individual with dating, there are a couple of things that you shouldn’t do. First of all, on the first date, it’s quite well-known by now that the boy should always open the door for the lady, and he must pay for the meal. As always, this is a proper courtesy that has been going on for years. From personal well-knowing on my very first date, I accidentally paid for the first date, and this is something I do not recommend. When a woman pays on a first date, the guy feels a little belittled. I felt this very well on this one. But Joey Burford (12) made a rebuttal to a first date DON’T, “The best thing you could do on a date is to tell her to thank you after she pays for your dinner.” If you ever do pay for the meal, make sure he says, “thank you.” Another way to pay is to split the cost of the meal. Additionally, from the other’s point of view, this is a subtle gesture and demonstrates an understanding of money.


During the first dinner date, it’s the moment to turn down the awkwardness and turn up the talkativeness. A don’t in this scenario is talking too much about yourself. Paige Porter (11) went on a date and recalled that “all he talked about was sports and didn’t ask questions about me.” Many concerns roll with Paige’s realization because the perfect distribution of being flirtatious and listening to your date is vital. If the person talks all about themselves, ask them a question that could reflect on you. Or, if there’s a brief moment of silence, ask them to say random things. From personal experience, the gesture adds a humorous touch but leads to an engaging conversation in the end.


Setting boundaries also help you realize what type of person you are going to spend time with. There is fundamental importance in no kissing on the first date unless you are one hundred percent sure that they are “the one.” It’s better to take away boundaries slowly, which leads to a more modest and fulfilled commitment. It’s also just not about going for it all. On the other hand, don’t be too distant because this could result in no second date. Hugging and holding hands on the first date is a perfect way to show affection while still setting boundaries. It creates a foundation that there could lead to something more and also relieves attachment. All in all, my reflection with limitations is that they have set the mood and tone of getting to know a person by communicating with words.


Towards the end of the date, there’s always a chance to see if there could be another date. But here are a few things you should check off before entering the next date. First of all, make sure the person you went on your date with wasn’t on their phone. Attention on the phone more than on you when not needed allows them to ultimately not listen to you, because not giving you their undivided attention leads to them not truly being interested. Listening is critical within starting a relationship between two people. Without this, there’s no soul, and Elizabeth Salvador (11) explains that “communication between my boyfriend and me is what we have to build off of in our day to day lives without it there would be no relation.” Elizabeth tells the truth for secure communication because, without it, we would have no relationships. As we guide ourselves into the next date, we have made one more “do” to check off our checklist: keeping eye contact, saying/remembering his or her name, and always being punctual.


In the end, the only person who knows what is right is the two people who went on a date. Just remember to be yourself, take the chance, and let things fall into place. The truth is, we learn from our faults on prior dates of don’ts, and use those experiences to create a more healthy and fulfilling dating life. Hopefully, these simple dates do’s and don’ts will help you achieve an appealing date.