How to Survive: Spring Break

Taken from GoogleImages

Taken from GoogleImages

“HOW TO SURVIVE” is a somewhat weekly series written by Rachel Seo on how to survive things like permit tests, long lectures, and Valentine’s Day. It’s partially sarcastic, partially helpful, and a whole lot of fun. 

Spring break should not ordinarily be something one needs to survive; however, it has increasingly become code word for “Homework Week.” Despite the fact that students do not have to come to school, their teachers have still assigned them homework, therefore rendering spring break as something that needs to be survived, not enjoyed. Fortunately, there are several ingenious ways to avoid such responsibility, and these procrastination methods can make your spring break all the more enjoyable.

  1. Make a fake beach in your house.

Even if you can’t make it to the beach as much as you’d like, you can bring the beach itself to you! Go to the store and buy lots of sand, inflatable palm trees, coconuts, and fruit. Scatter the sand in a wide area, like your living room or bedroom, pull up a lawn chair, and pretend you’re chilling by the ocean. It’s exactly the same as if you had actually gone to the beach, and this way you don’t waste gas. Plus, you don’t even have to invite people–make it your own little personal beach, free of human entanglement!

  1. Start a revolution.

Whether you’re passionate about tree-hugging or Apple computers, ice cream or hatred of homework, starting a revolution is always an option. Because you’ll probably have homework over spring break, you’ll have plenty of fodder to start a revolution. Recruit a bunch of your friends or random people you meet on the Internet who feel the same way, create a revolution headquarters, and start planning!

  1. Break a lot of things.

It’s called “spring break” for a reason, right? If you ever have pent-up anger towards your current situation at school or at home, feel free to break things! Go to the dollar store and buy at least five cheap vases (if you have any left over, you can use them for birthday and Mother’s Day gifts), bowls, or other breakable items. If you’re broke, make a pot of cold spaghetti and throw it at the wall–that way, you’ll know if the spaghetti is cooked, and you get your emotions out at the same time.

  1. Rob a bank.

If you’re ever bored, robbing a bank is always an option. Just pretend you’re in some sort of delusional Marvel movie with only a week’s time limit to storm a secure building. That way, you can convince yourself that stealing is actually a good pastime over spring break, and your guilt will be lessened. Just make sure you bring enough money bags–you never know how much money is going to be available!

  1. Sleep and binge on Netflix.

Running away from responsibilities might be nice, but actually running is not. Instead of making fake beaches, starting revolutions, breaking things, or robbing banks, Lauren Bui (9) “slept in until 12 every day and watched Netflix when [she] wasn’t sleeping.” It’s the perfect way to keep your brain off of what you have to do without actually doing anything.


Because, of course, that’s what this generation strives to do–run away from responsibility without actually having to run.