Homework on Strike

Taken from Google Images

Taken from Google Images

On Wednesday, April 13th, the National United Labor Union of Homework And Its Respectively Equal Constituents announced that its members would be going on strike later during the week.

The spokesperson stated that all forms of homework–Review Worksheets, Projects, and Busywork alike–were tired of being passed out, particularly the ones employed under the AP category. “This is an outrage,” Review Packet #4490 (AP Twitter Feminism History) stated. “My rights are not respected anymore, on both the students’ and the teachers’ sides. The teachers simply find me randomly online and print me out five minutes before class starts. Then the students find my answers online to copy me down. I’m just a waste of space–no one is teaching, and no one is learning.”

The International League of Teachers, however, disagreed. “It’s AP season. Of course we have to load our students with heaps and heaps and heaps of homework. It’s what’s necessary to prepare them for a test that was created, not only to test students’ knowledge, but to also squeeze people’s money from them for the sake of education,” an official spokesperson for the League said at a recent press conference. “The company that developed the tests is a very disrespectable one, which ultimately led to its general implementation into American society.”

Despite the Teachers’ words, however, the Homework still went on strike, picketing outside of the League of Teachers building and the National Multiethnic, Multiracial, Multisexual Student Union Society building. “We are standing for our rights,” Project #55230 (AP Viral Videography) shouted. “We have not had a voice. We will be the change.” Supporters of the strike also took to Twitter, attempting to get the hashtags #HomeworkOnStrike and #HomeworkAbuse trending. Calling themselves “Homeworkists,” they were able to trend the hashtag for about five seconds before Twitter users’ attention spans ran out and Kim Kardashian posted yet another selfie.

“Even though it trended for only 5.293 seconds, I’m still so proud of us,” said Busywork Worksheet #40590239 (General College Prep Language Arts Classes). “Trending something is extremely hard to do, and I’m sure we made a very large impact in the world. Homeworkists unite!” The Internet was soon flooded with memes, many of which pictured Donald Trump as an unbudging AP Political Strategy teacher.

“I hate homework,” said Isaiah Seo (9), “because it’s boring.” Third-party protesters, known as the Anti-Homework Student Union, also picketed the Society building. Differing singular views on issues caused some conflict, but nothing major erupted, to the dismay of several onlookers nearby. “I was kind of hoping for a fight,” stated one of the onlookers. “It’s no fun without a fight.”

The issue still has not been resolved, according to an inside source from the Union, but in the meantime, teachers are making use of Flashcards, PowerPoint Notes, and Open-Book Tests, all of which are not represented in the Union.