Anonymous

Two people splitting up, and ending a relationship.

It’s that time of year again! As our annual homecoming dance is around the corner, students are anxiously waiting to see if they will receive a homecoming proposal. However, this is also the same time school work starts to get more difficult and stress levels rise. Due to the rising stress levels, breaking up has become a popular option for couples. So why are many relationships ending right now, and what can you do to get over a breakup? 

Attending homecoming is an event that teens have looked forward to since their elementary school days. Since school work is starting to increase, student athletes’ schedules are getting busier and busier. All of these extra events are packing up schedules and adding stress. Even more, stress tends to be packed when people are expecting their special someone to plan an elaborate, Pinterest-perfect proposal. While it is a fun, exciting tradition, it also tends to add pressure and stress to relationships.  When thinking about how to give your ‘dream girl’ that perfect proposal, an unsettling feeling falls in and other flaws in your relationship start to become clearer. For this reason, many people decide it’s best to put their romantic feelings aside, and just attend the dance with their friends. 

There is a psychological reason behind all of these relationships, and bonds coming to an end. There are many psychological reasons as to why breakups happen, and according to Mrs. Parsons, YLHS campus psychologist, the main cause is pressure. The pressure to make the event special enough. The pressure to give them the best, most extravagant promposal, and sometimes even the pressure to have to fake it. When couples break up around this time it is because there are already doubts about the future of the relationship. One person will also realize that this is a big event, and they don’t want to look back at the memories in the future and only remember that all the smiles in the pictures were faked. Therefore, even if they still have feelings “they opt to end things…rather than continue to give someone false hope” Mrs. Parsons (S). When asking Mrs. Parsons how to bounce back after a tough breakup before a large event she stated, “Some of the best times are with friends, not just romantic partners at dances so go on, dust your shoulders off, throw on your best look, and go make your own magic happen, Cinderella!”

Here are a few tips to get over a breakup:

(Headspace, https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/relationship-breakup/)

The first way is to give yourself some distance from the other person. Even if you guys are still friends, or are in the same friend group, try to create as much distance as you can. This will help you right after the breakup because the more you’re around them, or the more you talk to them, the more likely you are to feel sad and miss the old times. You don’t need to completely shut them out of your life, but you should set boundaries, and give more attention to yourself. 

Additionally, you should keep busy and surround yourself with friends and family. Don’t drown yourself in homework, but after a breakup, some people find comfort in books and school work. As it takes their mind off all the intense emotions they are feeling. Go make plans with the people you love. We are all teenagers, our hormones are going crazy, and our emotions are becoming more intense. This is why you’ll want to surround yourself with friends and family because it is too much for you to handle on your own. 

Furthermore, take care of yourself, self-care is important now more than ever. You want to value your health and your mental state. Some breakups are harder than others, but no matter how good or bad the relationship ended. Take some time out of your day (or take a full day) to just care for both your body and your mind. You can even make a whole day out of self-care, invite some of your friends over, and have a spa day together. 

Still, no matter if it was a serious relationship or not, breakups will always hurt. If you ever need someone to talk to, there are people on campus who care about you and are looking out for your best interest. Students going through tough times are always welcome to reach out to our campus wellness specialist, Mrs. Heim, and our school psychologist, Mrs. Parsons. 

Finally, remember no matter what the situation was, it wasn’t your fault. Nothing you could’ve done was going to change the outcome. It just wasn’t meant to be, there are so many more people out there, and each relationship comes with an important lesson. It may take some time, and a couple more heartbreaks but everyone has a person out there for them and one day you will find your perfect match.