For many of us, the friendships we’ve had through high school have been easy, convenient friendships. Some of these friends we’ve known since kindergarten and we can’t even remember a time they weren’t a part of our lives. While friendships definitely change as we outgrow our childhood, they truly begin to shift as we graduate high school and take our own paths.
As a sophomore, I can only imagine the bittersweetness and the anxiety that must come with leaving the friends we’ve grown so comfortable with. Many of the friends I have now I do believe will be a part of my life five years from now, but I’m sure there are some I won’t even keep contact with once we aren’t forced to see one another because of the everyday convenience of school. The real question is, how do we find a balance between making new friends while maintaining our high school ones? Better yet, do these high school friendships truly fulfill us, and are they even worth salvaging?
First, I truly believe that the right high school friendships may last a lifetime. This is not the friend you had to beg to spend time with. This is not the friend who only cried on your shoulder but never leant theirs to you. This is not the friend who would shut down when you tried to share your perspective. But, with the right friendships, going off to college does not have to be a forever goodbye. Before trying to hold onto this friendship, take a step back and truly ask yourself if this friendship is worth holding onto. Oftentimes, we are afraid of losing this friendship because it’s comfortable; it’s familiar. But it’s not necessarily healthy or beneficial or gratifying.
However, for friendships worth holding onto, effort is now required. It isn’t necessarily hard; it’s maybe an update text every couple of days, sending them a video you find funny, or a FaceTime call. This is the time you will truly begin to see all of your old friends’ true colors. With this new distance, you will see which friends whole-heartedly care for you and want to maintain a relationship with you, and which friends were only there due to convenience. Kenzi Reiter (10) says she “plans to keep her friends by checking up on them, calling, and asking about their college experience while still making time for herself to explore new types of people.”
It is also essential that you begin forming relationships in your new post-high school world. On your college campus, begin by getting to know your room-mate and those around you. College is an amazing time to look for friends with similar interests, passions, and goals that you can truly relate to and deeply connect to. Kenzi says she is most excited about “not having to worry about cliques or social status” and she looks forward to “living her own life without worrying what others think.” There will be so many more people than there were in high school, so don’t limit yourself or put yourself in a box immediately. Making friends can be hard, especially when we’ve never really had to think about it before, but smiling and showing interest in others is the first step. Join clubs that excite you, rush greek life if you’re interested, and schedule study sessions with those you sit with in class. The right ones will come if you remain rooted in yourself and your values.
“ living life without worrying what others think — Kenzi Reiter
Navigating friendships after high school is difficult, but it is possible. Sometimes you may feel alone. You may oftentimes feel lost or confused as you learn balance during this massive transition. However, high school ending doesn’t mean your old friendships are over. Instead, this is an exciting time where you are able to better understand yourself as you begin to understand what you deserve in a friend, and the kind of friend you want to be.
