Stress-what a painful yet relatable word. Most high schoolers find themselves lost in a field of unmet expectations and disappointing results, which not only depletes their self esteem, but also causes an immense amount of stress. It’s not like you can just say: “I don’t want to feel stressed anymore” and boom, your stress disappears. Letting go is a long and tedious journey, and it doesn’t necessarily get rid of all of the stress in your life. In fact, stress can be a positive thing sometimes because it is a natural human response to difficult situations. The problem lies in the fact that so many teenagers and students alike feel a great amount of stress everyday and don’t know how to deal with it.

Personally, I had a very rough time dealing with anxiety. When junior year began, I had a whole list of goals I wanted to achieve, and I was in a constant strive to be better. I wanted to get better grades by improving my study habits, improve my sleep schedule so that my brain functions better in the morning, cut out the unhealthy foods in my diet, fix my posture, and the list goes on. Overall, I just wanted to be in control of my own life. All of that sounded positive until…well…let’s just say I did not meet my goals. When I failed my first test, I had a full blown panic attack because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get an A in that class, and I wouldn’t meet my goal of straight A’s. This affected my sleep schedule, and I was having random panic attacks at night because I was worried about my grades. All of this spiraled into insomnia, and I started binge eating sweets to make myself feel better, but it only made me feel worse. At this point, my grades were falling rapidly, and I thought that if I just tightened my control over myself, I would be better. I needed to get better. I needed more goals to reach.

But the cycle only got worse, and eventually, my mental and physical health was so bad that I purposefully missed school in order to regain my energy. This then caused more stress because I had so much work to make up. Anyways, you get the point. Eventually, I realized that the root of the problem wasn’t that I wasn’t “good enough”, but rather the immense amount of pressure I put on myself. Even though I thought being tough on myself and setting goals was going to help me, it only made things worse. I had to learn to let go and just accept the fact that things aren’t always going to go my way. This was difficult for me to accept, but I eventually seeked medical help and was able to sort of pick myself back together. 

To get more information on how to deal with stress, I consoled our school wellness specialist, Mrs. Heim. She talked about how the root of most students’ anxiety comes from students wanting too much control in their lives, and not being able to set realistic goals. You are meant to live the life you are living right now, and even though some change can be good, it can also put a lot of pressure on you. Mrs. Heim (staff) says that “there is a fine line between keeping high standards for ourselves and feeling the need to be perfect all the time.” It is important for students to realize that there needs to be a balance between setting goals and relaxing. With that being said, however, this is very hard to achieve because there is so much competition in the school environment. For example, if your friend gets an A and you get a C, you will feel bad about yourself even though you know that grades don’t define you. This will lead you to put more pressure on yourself, and you might already have a lot of pressure coming from your parents and peers. To help you cope with this, Mrs. Heim suggested positive self-talk because it will focus your mind on what you have already achieved instead of making you think about what you should be doing. Even though it seems a bit silly at first, your brain will unconsciously take in the positive affirmations, and it will gradually improve your mental health. I am in no way saying that you shouldn’t work hard for an A,  but again, you must find a balance and realize that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. 

The most important thing that Mrs. Heim mentioned to me was the act of “getting help”. Most people think that you should only seek help if your situation is extremely serious, but that is not true at all. If you are struggling with anything at all, it is important to reach out for help and know that you are not alone in this. You can contact Mrs. Heim by going to the counseling section of the YLHS website, or you can find someone close to you whom you can talk to. If you feel uncomfortable talking to someone, you can try the “coping skills list” that Mrs. Heim has posted on her website. Some of the items on that list include having some hot chocolate, listening to music, reading a book, and even going on a hard run. Overall, Mrs. Heim wants to remind all the YLHS students that this whole process of learning to “let go” is a mindset change, and while it is not an easy one, it is achievable through time. 

When I talked to my fellow classmates about their journey through dealing with anxiety, Emma Reiss (11) mentions says, “To deal with stress I like to listen to music and also set designated times for school work versus time to do what I want so that I am not stressing while I am watching tik tok or doing other things.” Emma is a junior, which is objectively one of the hardest years of high school. Through this method, she is able to find a balance between the things she should be stressed about versus the things that calm her. It is important to remember that stress is just a natural occurrence, so you are never going to be able to get rid of it completely; however, there are many ways to ease the anxiety like I mentioned above. In addition, Katherine Nguyen (10) says, “To be quite honest, I’m definitely not the best at managing stress and everything, but one of the main things that I try to do is make to-do lists and create a schedule for myself. However, I do feel that sometimes it’s really hard to manage our time as high schoolers since adults in our lives may not value our time, and they believe that their time is more important. It just goes to show how sometimes high schoolers are underestimated and undervalued, and I definitely think it’s a standard or thought that needs to be changed in society.” There is so much pressure that adults put on children, and that is another reason why it is so hard for people to learn to let go of their stress. Nowadays, you need more than just perfect grades in order to get into a good college because of the competition. You need community service, extracurriculars, AP tests, SAT’s, and awards. All of that just adds to the painful pot of stress that is brewing in teenagers’ minds.

One thing I learned from my experience as well as others’ is that you will be a lot happier if you lower your expectations. Whether that be about your grades, your relationships, your family, or your future. Most of us have all these ideas about what our lives should be like, and we (especially teenagers) fail to recognize how damaging it can be sometimes. With that being said: you don’t have to have perfect grades. You don’t have to win every award. You don’t have to have a perfect friend group. You don’t have to fit into the beauty standards. You don’t have to know what you want to do in the future. You have your whole life to figure everything out and it’s really damaging when young people think that their teens and early 20’s matter so much. Just live in the moment and learn the art of letting go.